Mince and Tatties

mince and tatties

This sounds a lot dirtier than it is, because it sounds like an Odd Couple-style show about two strippers who solve crimes. What it is is minced beef and mashed potatoes on the same place, mushed into each other like the Scottish version of a black and white cookie. I’ve got to be honest with you: I’m right on board with both of those options. 4.4/5

Klefki

klefki

There are 807 Pokemon, as of right now, not counting however many got announced for Sword and Shield, so, yeah, a whole bunch. And most of them are animals, but, especially since humans sort of took center stage on Earth, there’s only so many real animals to model them on. So, sometimes, you get something like this guy. It’s 7:30 and you promised Mr. Nintendo that you’d have a new Pokemon on his desk by eight, and so you just frantically search your apartment looking for things that could be Pokemon. Light bulb? No, did that already. Bag of garbage? Nope, did that too. Ice cream cone, no, come on, think. How many turtles are there? Thirty? Is thirty too many turtles? Face it, you’re never going to get there, so just grab your car keys and…your car keys? Your car keys? YOUR CAR KEYS! You did it again, you Pokemon master, you. 2.5/5

Memory Foam

memory foam

This is a thing they make mattresses out of. It’s a foam that doesn’t spring back to where it was after you lay on it. Despite that description, it’s still pretty comfortable, but it has one glaring flaw in that once you’re on it and asleep, it gets really hard to roll over, which is super-unsettling and also if I can’t roll over all of my sleep toots are going to land on my wife, instead of roughly half like we have now. 2.3/5