Lunchbox

lunchbox

This is a cocktail with orange juice, then beer, then amaretto in a highball glass, into which you drop a shot of bourbon. Funny story: at my last high school reunion–the real one, after, at a bar, not the lame one where I have to pretend to be interested in what everyone’s job is–a woman–and she was actually my wife’s cousin, which isn’t strictly relevant, but she was my wife’s cousin, and I tell you this so it doesn’t sound like she was trying to pick me up or something–says to me “You have to let me buy you a lunchbox” so I–because it was back-to-school time and I had just been to the store and saw all the back-to-school stuff, including a sweet Captain America lunchbox which I talked myself out of buying because I never really take lunches anywhere, but anyway I was already thinking about lunchboxes, and also I was real drunk and not really following what was going on–said–and there’s a swear here, but it’s what I really said, I’m not going to lie about it, but if you’re a child, you legally have to stop reading now– “I don’t need a fucking lunchbox, I’m a grown-up.” So actually I’ve never had one of these. They sound good. 4.6/5

Pickled Lemons

pickled lemons

This is a thing they do in Morocco. They pickle lemons in a mixture of lemon juice and salt. It’s like someone taught them the absolute wrong way to make lemonade, and when life gave them lemonade, they made lemon pickles. There’s probably a reason that’s not how the expression goes, and that reason is probably that these taste like poison. 0.2/5

Gin Rickey

Classic-Gin-Rickey

This is gin with mineral water and a wedge of lime, over ice. This always sounds like a fun alternative to a Gin and Tonic until I remember that the mineral in mineral water is just pretty much salt, and that I don’t want to drink gin and lime soup. Fun fact: Rickey is my dad’s name, more or less, so being a deliberately less fun way to drink is pretty in character. 2.9/5

Couscous

Perfect-Couscous-1

Most of my life I thought couscous was a grain, like rice. Well actually most of my life I didn’t know couscous existed, but since then, I mostly thought it was a grain. And it is, sort of, but that grain is wheat, and it’s crushed first, which is flour, isn’t it? And if that counts as a grain, then macaroni is also a grain, and where is my macaroni bread? Anyway, this is good as long as you don’t put pine nuts in it. 4.0/5

Podcasts

podcasts

Shows you download, usually on your phone, and then listen to. “Oh, it’s just talk radio,” you say, and you’re correct in general, but wrong in almost every particular. Generally it is people talking, yes. There are few, if any, interpretive dance-only podcasts. But talk-radio is almost exclusively about either Jesus, or how anyone who isn’t an old white man is out to get you, an old white man. Podcasts are about any number of things, from drunken Dungeons and Dragons, to interviews with celebrities where they’re only allowed to talk about their dogs, to people trying to figure out what the movie We Bought a Zoo is about based only on the title. You’re not getting that on NPR. Not even on weekends. 4.9/5