Afghan Hound

afghan hound

This is the dog that attempts to answer the question “What if Sonny and Cher were a dog?” It’s also, statistically, the stupidest of dog breeds. You know that thing where you throw a blanket over a dog’s head and the faster they get out from under it, the smarter they are? Afghans tend to assume that underblanket is just how their world works now. 2.0/5

Global Warming

Global-warming

This is happening. It’s not really debatable unless you can’t read a thermometer. People are causing it, or at least accelerating it. That’s not really debatable either, unless you’re the kind of person who is proud of their inability to read a thermometer. I guess it beats Global Cooling, which, if left unchecked would lead to the abrupt cessation of all atomic motion anywhere in the universe, but it’s still pretty bad on its own. 0.1/5

 

Flutie Flakes

flutie flakes

I’m something of a 90s buff, in that if the 90s were a place I would move there and run for President, but even I am hard pressed to explain how this career backup quarterback launched this breakfast cereal that was literally everywhere for about a month in 1998 and then disappeared forever. Voodoo? Probably voodoo. Anyway, it’s fine. It’s just Frosted Flakes only Tony the Tiger is a shortish Canadian man. 3.0/5