The Peter Principle

Steve Carell Sept. 1

This is a theory that attempts to explain why management is so horrible by postulating that every time a worker is competent at their current job they get promoted, until finally they reach a level at which they can never attain competence, and then they stay at that level forever. I’m going to have to call BS on this one, though, because I have been in the workforce for almost 20 years and I have never seen a competent person get any sort of promotion. 1.3/5

Webbigail Vanderquack

Webby

Webbigail (“Webby” for short) came with the nanny that Uncle Scrooge hired because buying two people for the price of one is how he got to be so fabulously wealthy. She got all the plots that weren’t masculine enough for Huey, Dewey, and Louie and also one time she made friends with a Yeti. My Dutch might be rusty but I think her last name means of the quack. I’d like to be of the quack. 1.3/5

Street Hockey ’95

street hockey '95

In the 90s, there was a really weird trend of presenting hockey as a thing that was primarily enjoyed by racially diverse street gangs. I’m not saying there’s nothing in hockey for street gangs to enjoy, but if there is, the street gangs had definitely not hit upon it in 1995. Anyway this game is basically NBA Jam, but for hockey, and instead of real athletes you get like five people, most of whom have dreadlocks, and one of whom I think was named Jill Nasty Slaps. 1.3/5

Skittles: Yellow

yellow skittle

I guess, then, a lemon Skittle is a lime Skittle that does have the courage of its convictions, but its convictions aren’t necessarily good ones. Like it’s convinced that “The Single Guy” was an underrated gem of Must-See TV. Or it’s convinced that people from Trinidad are five IQ points dumber than people from Tobago. Or it’s convinced that lemon is an okay flavor for a candy to have. It isn’t. 1.3/5