Belize

belize

Belize is the only country in Central America with English as its official language. I thought for the last 20 years that the map of Spanish-speaking countries in the back of my high school Spanish book was accidentally miscolored, but nope. It’s also the only English-speaking country in the world where no one reads Stuff Rater. I don’t know why, I talk English real good. 2.3/5

Shaving

shaving

Shaving is fine to do, so long as I’m not the one doing it. Usually I just hack the fuzz off my face with a beard trimmer once a week or so, but in May of this year the cashier at McDonald’s called me “ma’am” and I was so flummoxed I didn’t know what to do except for let my beard just grow for the next six months, so I haven’t even done that recently. Anyway, shaving makes my skin break out. 2.3/5

Frankenstein

frankenstein

Yes, I know Frankenstein is the doctor, not the monster. Yes, I know I’m supposed to call it “the creature” instead of “the monster.” But let us be honest with ourselves, this is a thing that murdered the entire Frankenstein family because it was sad about being ugly. My parents made me ugly and I just developed a really cutting sense of humor and off-and-on major depression. There are other ways to deal, Frankenstein Monster. 2.3/5

Oranges

orange

Who even eats these? All the good parts of oranges are in orange juice. The rest is just packaging, and that thing at the bottom looks uncomfortably like a butthole. Still I like that oranges are named after what color they are, which is convenient, and also a total power move against all the other orange fruits. 2.3/5