Vault Zero

vault zero

This was a quasi energy drink that Coca-Cola put out in the mid-2000s. I loved it. It turns out though, that if you leave half a can in a hot car for a while, it turns into a green benzene jelly, which is flammable and causes cancer. So that’s kind of a drawback. They don’t sell it anymore, so you’ll have to get your cancer/fire fix elsewhere. May I suggest cigarettes? 3.0/5

Migos Sour Cream with a Dab of Ranch


Okay so one night and a bunch of heartburn medicine later, I’m back on the Rap Snacks grind. These are sour cream “with a dab of ranch” because maybe Migos invented dabbing? Anyhow, these are okay. Ranch is not a great flavor. But it’s not super distinct on these. They basically taste like sour cream and onion chips where something is slightly wrong. But “slightly” is not a huge amount of wrong, sour cream and onion is a good flavor that’s not easy to ruin, and these didn’t cause me any physical pain. That puts them in the top half of Rap Snacks flavors at least. 3.0/5

Philly Cheesesteak Thickburger

cheesesteak thickburger

From Hardee’s/Carl’s Jr. Shouldn’t it be Carl Jr.’s? The way they do it now implies that Carl owns a Junior, and that’s problematic. Anyway, they don’t make this anymore, but when they did it was a burger with cheesesteak fixings on top. It was pretty good, even if the ingredients didn’t go together, it saved you from having to buy two sandwiches. 3.0/5