Chrono Cross

Chrono-Cross

This is the sequel to Chrono Trigger. It’s got forty characters, including a voodoo doll, two garden plants, a luchador, a beefy Caribbean mom, a skeleton party clown, a regular party clown, and a very gay dog. The ending is kind of opaque. You had to go on the internet to figure out what the deal was, and when this came out, we just barely had the internet. I love it. I love it so much. 4.9/5

Podcasts

podcasts

Shows you download, usually on your phone, and then listen to. “Oh, it’s just talk radio,” you say, and you’re correct in general, but wrong in almost every particular. Generally it is people talking, yes. There are few, if any, interpretive dance-only podcasts. But talk-radio is almost exclusively about either Jesus, or how anyone who isn’t an old white man is out to get you, an old white man. Podcasts are about any number of things, from drunken Dungeons and Dragons, to interviews with celebrities where they’re only allowed to talk about their dogs, to people trying to figure out what the movie We Bought a Zoo is about based only on the title. You’re not getting that on NPR. Not even on weekends. 4.9/5

Ozymandias

ozymandias

A poem by Percy Bysshe Shelley

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert… near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed;

And on the pedestal these words appear:
‘My name is Ozymandias, king of kings;
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!’
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away

So a neat little ditty about the time Percy Shelley met the guy who saw the statue of the guy who invented deserts. 4.9/5

Avengers: Infinity War

infinity war

If you have been even a little interested in any of the Marvel Studios movies over the last ten years, you owe it to yourself to go see this. Also, and trust me on this, if you are capable of the human sexual climax response, you owe it to yourself to bring a fresh pair of pants. 4.9/5

Anchorman

Anchorman

Anchorman is the most successful comedy of all time. I don’t mean that in terms of money or awards, I mean it in terms of jokes. There aren’t any lines in the whole movie that aren’t a joke. They don’t all land, for sure, but every time anyone says anything, you’re meant to laugh. People, people who are wrong, put forth Airplane! for this title. Not the case. Airplane! is the script of an actual movie with jokes added later. It’s about a plane where the pilot gets sick and the passengers have to land it. Anchorman is ostensibly about pandas, but I don’t think there are even any pandas in it, and I had to look up what the plot was, because that’s how immaterial it is to the jokes. 4.9/5