All Free & Clear

all free and clear

This is the laundry detergent I have to use, because I have, conservatively, a million billion skin allergies. It’s fine in that I only get super-itchy occasionally, but it leaves something to be desired in that it doesn’t really clean anything. Basically if I get a stain on something, it will be there forever. I have shirts that are about eighty percent chili by now. 2.6/5

Overalls

overalls

There was a brief period in the 90s, roughly coinciding with my sexual awakening where overalls were the television shorthand for “this girl is a nerd, except she’s secretly really pretty, but she doesn’t know it, so she might kiss you, a nerd!” which was a powerful message for me, a nerd. Unfortunately, the last ten times I saw anyone in overalls, were all my neighbor with his truck up on blocks in his driveway, and while he doesn’t wear a shirt underneath, I’m still pretty sure he’s not secretly a pretty girl, so it’s been a rough twenty years or so. 3.9/5