Groucho Glasses

groucho glasses

Groucho Marx is…a funny person? I don’t know, actually. He died five years before I was born. It is entirely possible for a person born after he died to have grandchildren now. But they still keep selling us these glasses, and the mustaches keep getting worse and worse and tinier and tinier until they are basically “Nerdy Hitler’s Eyebrows Are Out of Control” glasses, which, honestly, probably has about the same drawing power as a forty-years-dead comedian mask does. 0.8/5

Leggings

leggings

So this whole time I didn’t actually know what leggings were. What I thought were leggings were actually chaps and I kept hearing about people going out in just leggingsĀ  and wondering how come I never saw anyone with their butts out in the breeze. Anyway, leggings are just, like, sweatpants, but for women. I’m no fan of pants, but women wear what they wear, for their own inscrutable reasons. 2.5/5