Bosintang

bosintang

Okay, so this is basically chicken soup, only you replace the chicken with dog. That’s not…ideal. But they’ve been eating dog in Korea for the last six and a half thousand years, and pigs are smarter than dogs and I eat, just, a whole lot of those. I’ve personally resolved this conflict by agreeing with myself to never eat any animal species I have ever had friends in, which means I can’t eat people, or cats, or dogs, or hobbits, if hobbits are real. 0.3/5

Windshield

windshield

Windshield is the secret middle name I have given to all the pets I have ever owned. It had to be secret because when I got my very first (and so far only) dog and I wanted to name her “Windshield” my dad told me, “Like on a car? That’s stupid.”

NO DAD NOT LIKE ON A CAR IT’S ACTUALLY A RIFF ON SOME PRETTY NEXT LEVEL PRETENDING I’VE BEEN DOING AT RECESS INVOLVING ELEMENTAL WEAPONS AND YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ME YOU’LL NEVER UNDERSTAND ME I HATE YOU

Anyway, having this middle name is how you know you’re my pet instead of just an animal who lives in my house. It also means I have to love you forever, so be careful if you want to give it to your children. 4.9/5