Mrs. Claus is the old lady married to Santa Claus. Did she have any hopes, or dreams other than marrying Santa Claus? Did she go to college? When she was a little girl, what did she want to be? None of that matters. We can’t have Santa seem gay, so he needs to be married. I like to think Mrs. Claus majored in Laserometry and loves water aerobics and keeps trying to binge watch Breaking Bad but she can’t get past the scene where Jesse melts that dead guy in the bathtub. And also she LOVES weed. Just the North Pole is shrouded in purple haze all year. See this is what happens when you decide a character’s backstory doesn’t matter. I get to fill in the blanks. What if one time she killed a drifter just to see if she could feel anything? I get to answer that question. 4.8/5
P.S. She didn’t. She bought him a sandwich and a bottle of water. And then drove him twenty miles out into the desert.
P.P.S. But then she drove out to get him after like an hour.
P.P.P.S. But she couldn’t find him and it still haunts her.