Beef Stroganoff

beef stroganoff

This is sauteed beef in a sour cream sauce. It doesn’t sound too bad, but once when I was five my parents didn’t believe I was sick and made me eat a whole plate of this and then I threw it up on the coffee table. So I never ate this again. Even though my feet are up on that exact coffee table right now, 30 years later. I guess time makes fools of us all. 0.7/5

Rocking Chair

rocking chair

This is a chair that, you know what? Everybody knows what a rocking chair is. Maybe I don’t have to explain what everything is. Is anyone coming here to read a rating for rocking chairs who doesn’t know what a rocking chair is? No. Get it together, Stuff Rater. There’s a picture. They can figure it out. Anyway, as a light to moderate drinker, a sometime haver of ear infections, and a proud owner of a large and powerful butt, I’d prefer a chair that doesn’t change where I’m sitting so readily solely based on what said butt decides to do. It does a lot of stuff and I am only marginally in charge of it. 2.1/5

Egg Chair

egg chair

I always thought these were from a James Bond movie. I swear I can picture on of them spinning around and it’s Blofeld or that guy who decapitates statues with his hat. But I googled James Bond egg chair and came up empty. I still want one though, and if James Bond comes to my lair I can spin around in it and tell him that no, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die, and he will never have seen a chair that cool. 4.9/5

Venetian Blinds

venetian blinds

These are the window coverings they use in Venice, apparently. As a child, I thought they were venutian blinds, as in the window coverings they use on Venus, because that’s what they called them on The Jetsons. I mean, I know that show was from the future, but also, it was very definitely taking place in the early 1960s, except for the season they made in the middle 1980s but nobody ever told me there was a twenty year gap so I never knew what to think. Anyhow, these don’t keep the sun out enough. I may be alone in this, but I would be fine if my house didn’t have any windows, so long as there was an elaborate system of peepholes. 1.8/5