Stay at Home Mom

stay at home mom

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that being a stay-at-home mom is a full time job, mostly because I don’t remember, but, like, a lot, probably. Anyway it isn’t. It isn’t any kind of job, because the thing about a job is that it’s something you don’t want to do, so they have to pay you to do it. Most moms probably at least wouldn’t admit to not wanting to be a mom, and nobody is going to pay you to watch your own children, except maybe reality television, if something is super wrong with one of them. Stay-at-home momming is more like volunteering at an animal shelter, sure it’s vital and rewarding, but it’s also noisy and gross and exhausting and also none of the animals have learned to poop outside. 3.6/5

Professional Cuddling

cuddling

This is a thing where you pay people like a dollar an hour to platonically snuggle you. I always kind of thought this was a joke but it turns out St. Louis has at least two professional cuddling services with offices and everything, and it’s not like St. Louis is known for having stuff. When Ikea finally built a store here we painted it in our city mural at the airport. Anyway, I assumed I wouldn’t be interested in paying people to touch me when I don’t like people to touch me for free, but it seems like I don’t know myself as well as I thought, because I kind of want to do this. 4.0/5