Afghan Hound

afghan hound

This is the dog that attempts to answer the question “What if Sonny and Cher were a dog?” It’s also, statistically, the stupidest of dog breeds. You know that thing where you throw a blanket over a dog’s head and the faster they get out from under it, the smarter they are? Afghans tend to assume that underblanket is just how their world works now. 2.0/5

Kangaroos

kangaroo

The kangaroo seems like a mythical creature when you’re a kid, at least if you’re a kid who doesn’t live in Australia. You just jump in that cool pouch and it’ll hop you away from all your problems. It’s not until you’re an adult, if ever, that you learn that a kangaroo pouch is not big enough for a human child, and anyway it’s kind of a uterus halfway house, and furthermore kangaroos are kind of grumpy and more inclined to kick you to death than to hop you away from homework and that weird babysitter that smells like half-boiled potatoes. Ah, innocence! 2.1/5