Did you know that grass didn’t exist in dinosaur times? That’s jacked up. I’m not sure I can picture a world without grass. Anyway, it’s fine for when you need a carpet to cover up the dirt, but you don’t want to take a real carpet outside, and you have a couple of months to wait and you don’t mind cutting it every weekend. 2.3/5
It’s walking, which is fine, but also it is generally outside and uphill, and not to Arby’s but to more outside, and then at the end you have to walk back to the part of outside where your car is. I cannot approve of it. 1.0/5
Mark Twain once said that golf was “a good walk spoiled.” As someone who doesn’t even want to take a walk, it’s four hours sitting on the couch double-spoiled. 1.0/5
This is a toy, that’s basically a sail on a string where you hold the string and let the wind blow the sail around. I have never once had a kite work while I was holding it. I wonder if a plastic grocery bag on a string counts as a kite. I bet it would be really good. 3.1/5
It’s like a recliner but uncomfortable and outside and like four inches off the ground. You know how easy it is to just recline on the actual ground? Pretty easy. And free. 0.2/5
Mark Trail seems like a conservative guy, always wearing button-down shirts and punching people with non-standard haircuts, but look closer. I’m not sure he even has a gun, let alone, like, forty guns, and also he cares about nature as more than “that place all the oil is under.” You can’t pin him down with your left wing/right wing dichotomy. Mark Trail is free, like a bear or something. Say, did you know that bears don’t really hibernate? Mark Trail knows. 4.5/5
It’s like running except there’s nothing chasing you and you’re still doing it. On purpose. Madness. 0.1/5
