President Fat Bag of Farts


I try to remain pretty apolitical on this thing, but if you pay attention you can piece together enough info about me from my ratings to get a pretty good feel for where I stand in the political spectrum. I don’t like Mississippi or Christian movies. I have heard of soups from other countries. I’m in favor of punching Nazis. I know how to read, and to write. I accidentally on purpose referred to the sitting President of the United States of America as “President Fat Bag of Farts.” The tracks are there to follow. 0.1/5

Ulysses S. Grant


The S doesn’t stand for anything, because “Ulysses S. Grant” isn’t this guy’s actual name. He was born Hiram Ulysses Grant and only picked up the initial when a clerk at West Point wrote down his name wrong and he thought “close enough.” He should have kept Hiram, if only for all the other Hirams out there who think there’s no way one of them could ever rise to the highest office in the land. 2.0/5

Gerald Ford

gerald ford

Gerald Ford was the only man to serve as both United States President and Vice President without being elected to either post. He was appointed Vice President when Spiro Agnew resigned and slid right into the Presidency when Nixon did the same. When elementary school teachers tell the dumb kids that they could grow up to be President one day, this is almost certainly what they mean. 2.0/5