Chocolate-Covered Strawberries

choco-strawberry

They’re okay. I’m on board with the concept of covering things in chocolate, but strawberries, for me, aren’t a consistent enough fruit to fully execute it. Sometimes you get a sour one, and sour face isn’t a turn-on. It looks like a kissy face, true, but a kissy face where the person you expect to be kissing is slimy or something. Chocolate-covered bananas, that’s the path to my heart. 2.9/5

Jelly Doughnut

jelly doughnut

This is a doughnut filled with jelly, usually strawberry jelly. Look, we’re all adults here, so let’s just admit it: jelly is not a treat. It’s a trick to make children eat peanut butter sandwiches, because it costs like a nickel to make a peanut butter sandwich. It doesn’t belong in a doughnut. Change it to pudding and we’re in business. 2.1/5

Neapolitan Ice Cream

neapolitan

Did you know that the Naples referenced by calling this Neapolitan ice cream is not Naples, Italy, but is in fact, Naples, Florida? Me neither! Mostly because I made that fact up just now! Could be true, I guess. I’m not going to look into it. Anyhow, this is strawberry, vanilla, and chocolate ice cream laid out in the perfect ratio for making sure nobody gets what they want. 0.9/5