Chocolate-Covered Strawberries


They’re okay. I’m on board with the concept of covering things in chocolate, but strawberries, for me, aren’t a consistent enough fruit to fully execute it. Sometimes you get a sour one, and sour face isn’t a turn-on. It looks like a kissy face, true, but a kissy face where the person you expect to be kissing is slimy or something. Chocolate-covered bananas, that’s the path to my heart. 2.9/5

Jelly Doughnut

jelly doughnut

This is a doughnut filled with jelly, usually strawberry jelly. Look, we’re all adults here, so let’s just admit it: jelly is not a treat. It’s a trick to make children eat peanut butter sandwiches, because it costs like a nickel to make a peanut butter sandwich. It doesn’t belong in a doughnut. Change it to pudding and we’re in business. 2.1/5

Neapolitan Ice Cream


Did you know that the Naples referenced by calling this Neapolitan ice cream is not Naples, Italy, but is in fact, Naples, Florida? Me neither! Mostly because I made that fact up just now! Could be true, I guess. I’m not going to look into it. Anyhow, this is strawberry, vanilla, and chocolate ice cream laid out in the perfect ratio for making sure nobody gets what they want. 0.9/5