The Rubik’s Cube

rubik's cube

With this, and Pac-Man, and getting no Whammies on Press Your Luck, the 80s were filled with things that were presented as skill challenges that were actually exercises in rote memorization. The easiest way to beat one of these is to pull the stickers off and put them back in the right places, and the best way is to never buy one because then it’s like you won seven dollars! 0.9/5

Monopoly

monopoly

Monopoly is a game that takes about twenty minutes until everyone knows who’s going to win, but about four hours for them to accomplish it. The extra three hours forty is traditionally used for everyone to learn to hate everyone else just a little bit more. Or at least that’s how it used to be. I haven’t been allowed to play Monopoly for the last sixteen years, since shortly after I started dating my eventual wife. I heard they got rid of the thimble. Can’t say I like that. 0.1/5

Shoeboxes

shoeboxes

There comes a time in life when you get more excited about getting shoes than about getting the box the shoes come in. I don’t know when that time is but definitely sometime after age 34. Shoes are just pants for your feet. Shoeboxes are limited only by your imagination and if you have enough empty Pringles cans lying around to turn one into a race car. 4.8/5

Choose Your Own Adventure

chooseco

These are second-person adventure books for kids (not today-times kids, pre-internet kids) where the reader makes choices that lead to one of any number of endings. It’s been a long time since I was a pre-internet kid, but I think, if I was really in charge of choosing my own adventure, I wouldn’t have chosen to die quite so many times, including once electricuting myself playing nintendo in a bathtub because I refused to break into an amusement park. 2.7/5