Köttbullar

Swedish meatballs. I don’t know why I didn’t just call this one “Swedish Meatballs” except I’m too lazy to un-cut and un-paste and also I am actively bad at search engine optimization. Anyway, I prefer these to regular meatballs, which I also like because they are at minimum, a ball of meat, but until today I didn’t know why. While reading the Wikipedia article, two words stood out: white pepper. White pepper is also the best of the eleven herbs and spices in KFC! I have to get myself some of this magic powder. Maybe put it on some scrambled eggs or something. Anyway, these meatballs are real good. 4.4/5

Kentucky Fried Chicken

So in Japan, they didn’t really get Christmas in an organic way. Mostly they learned about it post-World War II from Western television shows. So they got kind of confused about Christmas dinner since turkey is almost completely unknown there, and at some point in the last couple decades, KFC stepped in with an advertising blitz to convince Japan that they were the thing people ate at the end of A Christmas Carol, and–long story short–if you want KFC for Christmas in Japan, you have to order it in mid-October, because that’s how long the waiting list is. When they sing The Twelve Days of Christmas, on the 11th day, you get herbs and spices. Okay, I made that up, but it could be true. 3.4/5

Lee’s Famous Recipe Chicken

The eponymous Lee here is actually Col. Sanders’ (from KFC) son. He claims this chain uses the original original recipe, and not what KFC changed it to after they bought out the Sanders family. I can’t attest to the veracity of these claims, since Colonel Sanders died before I was born, but I have had both kinds and if there’s anything to it, I’m kind of faintly surprised to live in a world where Quaker/Pepsico/YUM Brands makes a better chicken than a guy who the only thing anyone knows him for is chicken. 2.0/5

KFC

KFC changed their name from “Kentucky Fried Chicken” about twenty years ago, not because the animals they serve aren’t legally chickens anymore, but because they don’t want you to associate them with fried things. Go ahead, though, eat something from KFC that isn’t fried and tell me if that’s a good idea. The original recipe chicken has eleven delicious herbs and spices, the grilled chicken has just one, and I think that one is ” dry, burnt chicken.” 2.9/5